our last kiss – September 6 / 2025
A small collection of my memories, shared through two songs. Sometimes relationships fall apart and you cannot reach out to the person you loved in any way, but only going back through your mind, touching these memories over and over again, thinking what is it that went wrong. And it’s a point of no return. Sad. Not really believable. But so real.
“I spent 7 years loving you in secret and out loud, to be cruelly replaced by someone else and turned into a ghost of our past. Locked in the cycle of remembering everything we had.”
Album cover has a worn-out leather jacket he used to wear, representing our relationship that was once very important but became unwanted after the years.
Paper Souls – written on this exact day, years ago as a birthday gift to the person I cared about a lot. It represented my love and the desire to support and cherish everything we had together. I’ve never thought I’d be going back to this song to continue it. Later, after a breakup, the song received more lyrics and shifted the original perspective into a heartbreaking and sad ending, telling a story of abandonment and lack of closure.
our last kiss – started to appear in my head while I was making breakfast in the morning in my kitchen, thinking of a breakup. We shared a lot through the years, but it hit me hard when I was replaced so out of the blue and then ghosted. This song felt like unspoken love, the one I can never really express in person. He said leaving me is gonna be hard, but it wasn’t.
LYRICS
■ Paper Souls ■
Let a story begin when you were born
Let the most hard pain you hold be a paper cut
You’re wandering around in this world
You’re chasing a dream that is not your own
Do you have a hope? Will you have home?
When did your soft heart become unbreaking stone?
Let me hold your hand and walk through a heavy storm
You’re chasing your dream on your own
You don’t let me in but I do have hope
For you and for me and for our
For our paper souls
Who do you love?
When you dreamed to see me
Holding me close
Like you’ve never thought
Love’s ever gonna hurt?
Now who do you love?
Pretend my arms around you
It’s all about you
There’s no sharpness
On your poisoned thorns
I’ve seen it
You’re soft
Sitting in a tree to watch sea every night
“Will you sing to me?” you asked
And I said “I might”
I sang happy birthday to you
Am I late?
September the 6th 1988
You won’t be alone
In my love song
The way each step was lost like there’s no going back
I loved you the most but I never said that,
oh I never said that
I think of our dreams everyday
It’s you who I miss, but you sail away
From me and you’re leaving me fields of our faded hopes
Who do you love?
When you dreamed to see me
Holding me close
Like you’ve never thought
Love’s ever gonna hurt?
Now who do you love?
Pretend my arms around you
It’s all about you
There’s no sharpness
On your poisoned thorns
I’ve seen it
You’re soft
You gave her my name
You tell her the same
Burn our paper souls
Watch me go in flames
Now I hate your face
This song tells a story about meaningful and pure relationship that ended suddenly by betrayal. Paper Souls represent how soft and fragile people’s souls are and how easy it is to hurt them deeply.
This song tells a story of a serious relationship which turned out to be just casual for one person, but not for another. They shared everything together for 7 years, until the man found someone new and erased everything like it never happened.
■ our last kiss ■
When movie posters used to be art
And the time was frozen
You said it’s gonna be hard
But it wasn’t
Our first kiss was our last kiss
I can feel it like it happened
But it never did
Our lost love was never found
Among these seven years
Gale comes
Taking over all our sunken ships
You used me to fill holes in your heart
But when I fell apart
You leave me broken
I followed your footsteps from the start
My wishes in the dark
Buried unspoken
You act like we’ve never been friends
You were just playing
My heart strings with your bare hands
You seem like you’ve never been in my room
You’ve never seen me
You’ve never sin me
But you smell like my perfume
Our first kiss was our last kiss
I can feel it like it happened
But it never did
Our lost love was never found
Among these seven years
Gale comes
Taking over all our sunken ships
You whispered forbidden words to me
Abandoned promises
And then you just watched me bleed
It’s been seven years
How can you not care?
It makes no sense to me
It’s been seven
Seven years
lilac basement – June / 2022
1. Fall Forest
2. Paper Souls
3. Dreamy Dreams
4. Fairytale but Nightmare
5. a ghost
6. Shelter from the Rain
7. Feels Like
8. Thousands of Prayers
9. Promises
10. Hold On
11/12. You stood where I stay
13. Deep Death
14. Infected
15. Mary
LYRICS
■ Fall Forest ■
I’m falling with the leaves from the trees
In your palm
Destroying everything that I’ve built around
My heart
I’m coming back into your arms
Hoping you’d do no harm
You’re in every season, every sound
Still keeping our special chestnut
I would fall asleep on your chest but
You’re not around
I’m falling with the trees on the leaves
On the ground
Cut down
I’m hoping if you had me then you have seeds
You can replant
Ethereal forest in my heart
So I won’t go back to the start
I won’t fall apart
I would be warm in your scarf
Drink me from your special mug
And I will be safe with you around
■ Paper Souls ■
Let a story begin when you were born
Let the most hard pain you hold be a paper cut
You’re wandering around in this world
You’re chasing a dream that is not your own
Do you have a hope? Will you have home?
When did your soft heart become unbreaking stone?
Let me hold your hand
and walk through a heavy storm
You’re chasing your dream on your own
You don’t let me in but I do have hope
For you and for me and for our…
For our paper souls
■ Dreamy Dreams ■
Dreaming one last time
On your knees there’re too many scars of our lives
Whisper to me that I’m ready to leave
Is there a soul that never dies
And running in the deepest skies?
We’re watching dreamy dreams tonight
Dreamy dreams tonight
You’re in my dreamy dreams
Tonight
■ Fairytale but Nightmare ■
Do you ever feel that nightmare?
I felt it on my skin
but did you?
Take me in your arms
Take me deeply
Am I dreaming tonight?
I’ll be up until my tears go down
It’s fine for me
I’ll be up until my dreams drown
Fight for me
■ a ghost ■
It wasn’t over
I can’t leave
It is hard to be a girl
Honestly
Can you be honest with me?
Everybody has their friends around
But not me
I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe when I’m alone
It was over
I can’t believe
Your normal life can’t give you what you need
You’re haunting for love
But there is nothing more I could and give to you
And everybody hurts
Everybody feels this way
But I’m bleeding I can’t stay
It was your choice to hurt me
It’s never gonna be the same
Never. It’s broken.
Oh, it was your choice to make.
Everybody has their friends around.
■ Shelter from the Rain ■
Run away where you can heal me
Make my broken soul alive
Leaving everything behind
Believe in what I can’t see or touch or anything
Escape away where you can meet me
Give me shelter from the rain
Teach me how to live today
Believe in what I can see and touch and everything
Wake me up
I wish you would stay
Wake me up
I wish you would stay
With me
Wake me up
I wish you would stay
■ Feels Like ■
Feels like all seconds and days far from you rape me
Feels like my life moved away
and I’m still waiting for it today
I’m running out through the doors
And my breath is the coldest
Among the most warm and native walls
I’m homeless
You stole my heart and my treasure dreams
turned to winter
I feel my heart trembling with my knees
when you with her
And when you pass me by I can’t breathe
I’m not in safe
Oh, I’ve always said I’m alright, but instead
I am insaine
■ Promises ■
You are here in water’s arms
Fall with the rain
I’ve tried to keep my promises to you
To not grieving
You are here in God’s palms
With anyone but me
But how can I let myself live without you
Pushing my blood in veins so insatiably
Who do you think I am, a liar?
I’m not sleeping now
I can’t
Who do you think I am, a liar?
I’m not sleeping now
I can’t, I can’t, I can’t
I can’t keep my promises
While you’re not breathing
Why you’re not breathing?
■ Hold On ■
Hold on
Believe in yourself
Don’t try to surrender
I feel it underneath your skin
Believe me
You’re hiding, waiting for death
And falling
Falling won’t replace what you have
Don’t dare stop breathing
When you have nothing left
Don’t tell them to stop look into your eyes
Don’t hide that you’re broken
Oh I can’t breathe without you
■ You stood where I stay ■
Here I stay
If anybody cares
We’re worthless
We pray to God trying to catch his hands
And worship
Sometimes it helps
But don’t you know who you really are?
And you hate it
And you bleed inside
And you’re falling apart
Don’t look back
You stood where I stay
And I know that
We burn under the sun
Waiting for God to send us rain
And clean ourselves
Sometimes you can’t deny the fact of
who you really are
But He loves you
You can feel the rain
As it falling for us
Here I stay
■ Deep Death ■
Here in deep death I found your hand
Cut and bloodless
I know I stood there
There where our lives end
So hide your own
Don’t let them lie
You need a hope like me
Don’t cry
Tell me what they said
To make you did that
Your heart’s still breathing
But you don’t wanna come back
Hearing liars’ earth
Who hates you from birth
Come here to me from the dark
I know who you really are
Don’t cry
■ Mary ■
We are so broken
Why do we so alive?
Her eyes not closed
They’re wide open
Mary wouldn’t lie
‘Cause she is alright
Living so many years of suffering
She left it behind
But there were so many things
There were so many reasons
to breathe in, breathe out
Close your eyes
Mary pulls the trigger
Or swings down with the rope on her neck
She won’t see a new sunrise
For her we’re all dead
Mary
Close your eyes
Mary pulls the trigger
WINDSWEPT – December / 2020
LYRICS
■ Inside Your Dreams ■
How do memories float?
What am I? Or used to be?
Sorrowful remembrance
Don’t leave me dying here
Inside your dreams
Stop this pain for all of us
Just throw me away
It will be better
We lost
We’re fading out
■ Not Water ■
Are you drunk?
Can’t you stop?
Was it water? Was it not?
Just enough
Tears drown in your eyes
uh stop
Don’t tell me lies
■ Unhuman ■
You don’t know what love is – unhuman
Blood on your cruel hands leads to who you are
Promised but you won’t come save me – unhuman
You took my hand that bleeds slowly
You’ve never felt that way
Normally I won’t breathe underwater
You are the one to blame
You betrayed me, you hate me
Now my heart is empty
■ Your Home ■
Hold me
It’s dark around
Forget things that put us down
Let’s leave this place
“I’m sorry” – still makes sense
Too far away
To share this town
I was afraid
To say this out loud
But I miss you for so long
Don’t go. I’m your home
■ Heart ■
Your heart is pounding in your chest
Your heart is right there
It’s right there
Don’t be afraid of me
I belong to you
But instead
Stony people
Stolen hearts
I’ve never seen it in your eyes
I’m locked in darkness
Knowing you don’t care
Your darkest shadows won’t let me touch you there
In your heart
And it’s dying
In my hands
Let me be proud of this
I’ve never seen it in your eyes
I’m locked in darkness
Knowing you don’t care
Your darkest shadows won’t let me touch you there
In your heart
Stony people
Stolen hearts
Let me breath in
Let me breath out
Around me
Stony people
Stolen hearts
Let me breath out
Let me breath out